Thanks.

I decided to be open about all of this because I figured it wouldn't matter if I get caught anyway. I might as well expose myself as a cheater then having to carry on a lie, you know?

I can't speak for all men but there is guilt there. In my case, just a lot of things were not happening and I was either getting frustrated or disappointed and it wasn't a secret to anyone. Men are bad at hiding feelings. It's more torture, really. (IE: "How am I supposed to explain this?") I don't know. Maybe each situation is different.

Yeah. I do know "my mistress" is flesh and blood and has real feelings. As such I don't think I could afford to carry on the relationship any further and that hurt me realizing that. It even hurts when I refer to her as a mistress, because she is a lot more than that. I mentioned before that she respects honesty and I can never be honest with her. Supposing my marriage were to end now...I can't go to my former mistress. There would be no way I can do that. She doesn't deserve that.

No, it's better that I continue to attempt to repair the damage...and actually see if it is repairable.

I'm glad I was able to help out. Even if all I was doing was displaying the mind of a cheater.