Welcome, LondonSky!

What you describe is not rare, in my book. After a particularly hellish five years with my illness, I developed mild agoraphobia. During the years just preceding that, I only ventured in areas where I felt I wouldn't run into anyone from my last job. When I saw someone, I hid/ran away. I was mortified by what happened to me, and so publicly. [I won't describe, but will say even ones I'd brushed off from years before dx/treatment also came back to haunt me.] Also, especially in the US, going on some form of disability requires a lot of processing for most. Stigma was part of it, but also disappointment in myself and shame. Shouldn't be that way, but it's hard to avoid.

Things did get much better over time. Any agoraphobia lifted, yet I can't say I wasn't changed in the end. It left me wondering if my new sensitivities were like wounds that never healed completely or if experiencing true stability removed a fearlessness/confidence that was the previously perpetual manic me with a superficial "tough Teflon skin". Either way, I was definitely humbled by it all. I also know that chasing mania (that drug of sorts) is not the solution and would only cause more chaos. Being grounded is better and the mental state that best aids in healing, as hard as it may seem sometimes. And it is hard.