Hi, I hope this is the place to post this. Yes I am bipolar, but hopefully all psychosis are similar or relatable.
I wanted to tell you my psychosis has changed during the last 6 years. I used to feel mania and psychosis, a feeling that I'd compare as being "touched" by the hand of God, truly special and very positive. Sure, I got into some trouble eventually, but my attitude was very positive and I saw the world with awe, expectation and a true desire to explore it everyday. This has changed. I don't know if any of your pdocs ask you about your specific thoughts during psychosis... I know mine doesn't care a bit about it (I could believe I'm an Apostle and he wouldn't know)...Maybe he and I should discuss if I feel depressed or elated during my psychosis, but that just hasn't happened... Nowadays I feel a rush of adrenaline but I see the world, and specially its inhabitants through a very negative optic... It ends up affecting me, and yes, I am aware I might have delusions mostly, but I wonder why this shift has happened, why this disillusionment... I'm not violent but I feel aggression in the world, in the people that surround me. Has this ever happened to you?
Cheers.