I told my T I’d like to take a break from trauma work because of some major changings in my life and too many things to handle. Basically I’m getting married and didn’t want to have to deal with SA memories now. Maybe it’s immature of me, I know it’s an important work but I need all the calm and good vibes possible. It’s just 4-5 sessions and T first understood that I wanted to give up out if fear and said, answer this: “is there ever a good moment to start such a work?” and then when I was standing on my position sort of got upset saying I can give up and call again once ready but then she doesn’t know if she will have a spot again, immediately (she took me back 2-3 times in the past I have to say). Then I told her I didn’t mean to stop therapy, just put it in standby for a few sessions.. while I have other issues, like Ed or self esteem that we could work on for just one month and a half.
She then seemed to understand and we will work on something else after the summer break, for this short time before that day.
Was that reaction normal? Did I really damage the trauma work by wanting to protect my feelings and nerves toward such a tiring moment? I am confused enough now, just wanted to preserve some mental sanity. Gosh, she got upset, why so? Then after clarifying she was again really kind but at first, I felt uncomfortable. Like I didn’t know if I was feeling more like a paycheck or guilty for sort of leaving her out of the blue. I know she doesn’t actually need my reduced pay - plus she’s full of requests, in any case. so then!?