Sounds like this girl came around at a time you were in a “ fragile “ situation
with your wife. She gave you what you needed at the time. How long have you been with her
before the word love got tossed around ? I think this was a spontaneous , in the moment
love. Leave her , although her being in your band is problematic , and spend some time alone
to get your head together. Then try and go back to your wife and WORK on your marriage..