(((((((((((((((((Mouse))))))))))))))))))) Sounds like a really rough night and I'm so sorry you are struggling.

It's just my opinion, but I don't think any part is evil. However, I do think some states of mind could be imitating and/or reacting to what one learned at different times in one's life. Carrying it through to what is happening today when triggered is understandable.

That said, it's also completely understandable that you would not want that state of of your brain to take action on those thoughts.

The bottom line is that you did not, in my opinion because the core of who you are is not like that. I'm so sorry your mother did not treat you well growing up. You deserved so much better.

I think this is definitely something to bring up with T. Please keep posting as you need as well. We want to be able to support you as we can.

Please take care.