I have read some of the recent posts.. and realized that my posting here... might very well be leading others to not post in this forum.. and I am so very sorry...truely...

sugar binging is unfortunately.. what I do...

In this forum... I have tried so many times to rally... together.. support.. and.. it is hard.. ED's are hard.. the shame.. the anger at one's self..

I just got done talking to my best friend - she has returned after months in another state... and I just do not want to see her.. yes.. terrible.. a person I love.. yet she drains every oz of energy from me... and I can't afford this.. at this point...

I explained.. ED's to her.. and she doesn't understand...and.. thru her non-understanding.. she hurts me...she wants me to be "normal".. and I am not...

We have been friends for 27 years... and I think to myself.. and what am I worth to you?? my friend??? I am deathly sick right now.. you know it... and yet... you don't help.. I tell you how you could help.. you are a smart talented.. analyst... and retired.. 60 years old.. and you could help... yet.. you don't... so.. my life.. is not "worth" your time and your energy... wow.. I feel so loved...
I would understand.. if I had not spelled out.. what I need.. and the steps to get there.. in my healing... basics.. food in the house.. help finding someone I could pay to cook and package it... and yet.. you my talented friend.. would rather lose me.. to death from ED..

I can say that because a few months ago.. I lost my friend of 20 some years to an ED.. she was 60... and though sick myself.. I moved heaven and earth to get help... to find support.. to force.. yes force her hsuband and adult children to help her.. yet.. it was not enough.. her life was worth everything to me...and she lost her battle....

My life apparently.. is not worth that to my own friend... not worth phone calls.. to help find me.. someone I can pay to cook.. wow.. and she did that for a living... double wow...

I have made the decision to not post in this forum again.. I want people.. that need to be... here... to be able to post... to not see my stuff and be so triggered.. that they are not able to get the support they need..

Bless all of you... and I will be thinking of you all... if you want to keep in touch - just send me a PM...

((((hugs for all))))