I've heard this too, although my community center just calls everything a "recurrence" rather than lapse/relapse. I personally don't buy into any of it. I have substance use issues and I don't say I "had a recurrence/relapse/lapse." I just say "I used [x amount] of [substance] [y] times." Simpler and doesn't require them to waste precious minutes asking "how many times?" "how much?" "what substance?"

I feel like with self harm I can just say "I cut." or "I burned" or whatever I did.