Hiya,
Ive been COMPLETELY sober twelve days, and my life has turned out better. I am questioning whether I was relying on alcohol cause of all %#@&#!, am an abuser or alcoholic. But physically feel better, emotionally leveling out, looking better, and ive been to interviews got a good job offer!
Still crave a drink though, so maybe i am an alcoholic!
When im excited, happy-want a drink
feel guilty/shamed-want a drink
angry/frustrated-want a drink
depressed-want a drink.
But without the drink for this short time, i am learning to experience all these emotions and not escape them. i am appreciating the finer details in life now.

Its mad, i know its a case of taking it day by day, but i find it hard dealing with the past, and am planning to many future things, because dont want to be stuck i this recovery rut. but adding all this emotional events in my life may be positive, but is it going to make wanting a drink worse?

I know i haven been sober long, i am going to aa meetings, phoning people when i can to avoid that drink. its so hard, because you talk yourself out of bein an alcoholic aswell.

Its evil!!!!!