I’m sorry you’re going through this very difficult time. I think the anger and sadness is a normal reaction. As for how to cope with this, I think acknowledging the emotions and allowing yourself to feel them is important. You feel them for a reason.

I found this article- it’s not totally applicable to your situation but maybe there’s something in there that will help:

Why we need to talk about anger in grief │Anger after death

If you have someone you can talk to about this, I find walking while talking extremely therapeutic, it’s something to do with the motion and the eyes forward. It helps if this person is able to just simply listen. If you don’t have anyone then please come here, there’s always someone to listen and we do care.

Allowing yourself to feel what you feel will maybe feel scary, but these emotions, they are not bad, they won’t hurt you. You will eventually move through this phase but it will take time, don’t rush yourself.

Self care generally is important, the article mentions exercise, I personally find moderate exercise makes a big difference to my mood. You don’t have to run a marathon but brisk walking and swimming (my favourite calming activity) can help ground and keep general health well.

How are you doing today?