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chaotic13 said:
[when I push away the nervousness, my emotions and feelings disappear as well. How do you talk about feelings your experiencing, when they move out of reach during the session.

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That's what it's like for me too! I'm either a mass of anxiety w/ so many unrecognizable/conflicting emotions trying to get out or a zombie. I also get EXTREMELY exhausted after some sessions and can't function for sometimes days (have had to call in sick and/or pull over and sleep in my car).
Chaotic, twice now I was able to feel in front of T (about something relatively safe) and I didn't completely dissociate or panic and make it stop. And although it became dark and it seemed like she was miles away I knew she was there with me and nothing catastrophic happened, I didn't lose control, go crazy and become completely cut off from everyone and disapear forever, I didn't destroy her office or her, she didn't freak out or fall apart, I didn't make her feel the same way I did etc. Those are some of my fears. Do you sometimes worry about those things too? (I've been seeing her a little over a year but saw a male T for 7 years but NEVER could say a damned thing to him except in letters--frustrating!). Now I'm more scared than ever but keep hoping there's hope and today I feel hopeful and I just know you will find it too ?????