I didn't mean what I said. Yes, treatment is incredibly flawed, but I think without meds, therapy, and IP I would be dead so this is at least a half-step up from that. And I did get my meds and took them. I hope the Lamictal helps calm me down. I think my pdoc thinks I'm bp rather than schizoaffective which also gives me a bit of hope as it feels to me like a (slightly) less severe concept.