More lately I stop and feel sorry for myself.

I have questionable mental health. I struggle. I can’t have gluten. I can’t have alcohol. I can’t have weed. I can’t have a lot of fatty foods lately. I had that lymphoma scare this year. My thyroid hates me. My liver hates me. I keep hurting my ankle so my ankle hates me. I need really to lose weight.There’s a pandemic still. I have no motivation to do things I once loved.

I know some people have it worse. But this isn’t the miserable Olympics who has it worst. I just feel bad about myself and need to vent.

I wish I could just have a nice cocktail and fries right now and relax but I can’t even do that.

I also feel like falling into my eating disorder again.

I hate it.

I’m trying to think positive. I’m having good stuff tomorrow. It’ll be good. I’ll make good. Do good. Hopefully I can start my day out bright. Maybe exercise.

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