I’m more quick to say to my T what’s helpful but in a more general way mostly. Like “I appreciate today” “thanks for saying that” I like the idea of being more specific in my communications. It would even open up more of an internal thought process of “what do I need right now”.
The hurtful things I can say but sometimes take a little more coaxing. Unfortunately I show him my hurtness most comfortably by withdrawing from him. We do get into it and I open up about the hurt. I tell him it sometimes doesn’t come as quickly verbally but with my silence or absence. Working on it.
He says helpful things and I watch his actions still and that’s the helpful.