Actually, I think I'm quite annoyed with myself for messing the dates up as I would have liked to go. As hard as it would have been I did want to try to go, and now I can't. And being annoyed with myself is a difficult emotion for me. A really difficult one. Because it means that I let myself down. Not something I'm used to doing. When you spend so many years feeling like the only person you can rely on is yourself, you get pretty good at being there for you, for getting things right. This whole 'being human' malarky is quite new to me, because I had basically turned into a robot. K and I did a whole load of work on this, and I would say I'm much more human now. I can see that it definitely has its upsides, but it also has its downsides, and I'm experiencing that tonight.