My sleep schedule is all kinds of jacked up again. I'm up at 3am and very likely not going back to sleep. Had a similar situation yesterday. It's not helping my work freakout at all and if anything's going to be resolved, it's going to be resolved tomorrow. Maybe. Hopefully. They could just as easily stomp on my proverbial face. Plenty of relatively powerful people have done that or tried that. If they can take my power away, they don't have to be reminded of their own precarious positions.

I don't like limiting my options but it seems that's all anyone around me ever wants to do. I want advice and help, not petty bureaucrats, smiling faces hiding proverbial knives behind their backs or diktats from men absolutely convinced of my moral inferiority. Guess what I get?

Why does it feel like I have to put in all this time and effort to be a member of society (not even a productive member, just a member) just to be dismissed out of hand by people who didn't do the work. You absolutely know that if I decided to pursue disability as a first choice, those same people would want to make sure I "deserved" it.

Not unique to me, I know, but...