Hi. I read your new member intro, and my heart feels for you. Now, here, I see you found this forum and that's great. It might not move fast or be very lively but you will find kind, helpful people here. It's a very safe place to write out what you're going through, and to find sympathetic folks.

It's sad when people change into someone we no longer recognize. That's what prompted my divorce (now many years ago, but traumatic and difficult for me for many many reasons). It really feels like a betrayal, when this happens.

Something I frequently remind people of is the fact that YOU are the only one who can protect yourself physically and psychologically from a person who is somehow a threat to one or the other. Please try and remember, what you are undertaking is a sign of great strength and level-headedness on your part. It sounds like you have accommodated him for long enough. It is time to really take care of yourself, and put yourself first.

I think I heard recently that going through a divorce is now known to be far more earth-shattering for people than was widely understood, for such a long time. I know it was for me, and it had far-reaching implications which colored an awful lot of situations, afterward.

But there is also a kind of closure that it brings. So, it's not all bad.

Give yourself time to grieve what has been lost.

Your life is changing drastically, albeit gradually. You'll be alright.