This is a very tricky situation. I understand that your basic needs and expectations are not being met but at the same time, I don't think it is okay to look for it outside of the marriage or to end a marriage just because of this one reason. Maybe you can try being intimate with your wife in other ways like sitting outside on the porch for a romantic evening together, talking, laughing and occasional holding of hands? Maybe she needs the emotional connection more than the physical one. Being a woman, I can say that women proceed to physical intimacy a lot faster when they feel safe in the presence of their partner. Sex may still be off the table for a while but I feel that once you manage to rekindle that emotional bond, she will enjoy small gestures of intimacy like hugs, kisses, laying on your chest, etc.