i cut a few times tonight. i’m feeling so depressed. I don’t take it as anything serious bc they are always so shallow. It’s not a “real” cry for help. It’s not like I show anybody it anyway.

I work with exuberant and lively and mostly positively children all day, and yet the past few days I just want to not be there. And when I am there i repeat “i want to die over and over again.”

This is not conducive to well-balanced work. i can’t take anymore time off. maybe having thursday and friday being child free will help my mood.