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rachelholland · 07:50 PM

Hi - I have a ton of shame and I really would appreciate it if you all are kind and not making me feel bad.

I grew up in a hippie mountain town. My parents were hippies and my Dad would walk around naked, smoke pot playing bongos that kinda stuff.

My Dad would travel a lot because he worked very hard on low income

Possible trigger:

and one time when he was away my mom asked if I wanted to see my brother's penis. I was 16 and he was 14 and she told me that it was wrong that guys were circumcised and she said it would be good for me because it was a learning experience and I was at the age where I should learn.

I was curious and I said I did want to see and I know now that I had very little ability to give consent just like my brother.

I have an addiction to uncircumcised penises in the United State of all places.

It has caused problems where I ask a guy if he is intact and it gets around. I was prescribed Ativan because I've been harassed by so many guys that I've never met in my town.

I would like to share more but I don't know if it's appropriate in this forum. I also don't know if it would even be possible to get better.

I'm in college and I'm studying biology but I think I will take a break and then move somewhere else after I get better.