i feel like crap.

so this morning, I found out that



but that's not what upset me

she then said to me, (the person who told me), well, 49, it's not old at all... a life wasted- life is short. you need to grab life every day

and I know I've not done that- and though I thought it would be a wake up call to actually do something, what it's made me realise is... that no, I don't want to do something- I'm done.

and that's sad. especially seeing as I'm younger than 49 and believe I've not begun to live