But I wont destroy myself, I will make sure that I don't...

I just want to feel liek I can control the things I eat and how much etc, I want to feel like I can lose weight if I want to..

I put others before me anyway, so I will be there for others, I have been more recently when things are completely devastatingly tough for me and yes, I do, feel like giving up, but I won't because I know that will destroy people...