Is that red "X" a trigger icon? Not sure - but this post mentions SA.

I just started wondering if I'm seeing how far the boundaries can be pushed. What can I get away with? How easy is he to manipulate?

When I was in high school, I spent time in counseling with a minister at my church. I had NO understanding of boundaries, or what was/wasn't appropriate, AT ALL. He told me that the senior pastor kept warning him about our relationship, but he just blew it off. I probably felt "special" and I KNOW I felt grateful to have someone listening to me. I probably listened to him as much as he listened to me - he was going through a divorce - but I had no idea that was a red flag. I trusted him and depended on him, and thought of him as sort of a lifeboat - I was a teenager, so still absolutely trapped in the abuse-land of my home.

After about a year or so, he offered to take me out for ice cream and when we were in the car said he needed to stop by his home. I don't know how much is appropriate to put on this board....but basically, the story ends with us in his bed. And after that, as he drove me home (we never did get ice cream), he told me that our relationship had to end, that we couldn't talk to each other any more, that it all had to be over.

This is the first counseling relationship I've been in since then. I'm really starting to think that today's session was about me pushing boundaries. Can we sit on the floor? Can I sit in your chair? Where does it end? I *think* my T has really good boundaries...but maybe I'm just making sure.

I don't know. I feel confused. I thought I would feel *really* good after our Uno game, but suddenly I feel on the verge of a panic attack.