@mathman92, I read through this whole thread and each of your posts. I am SO sorry for how you've been treated in your marriage. I just want to say that your anger and resentment are justified and I want to validate that. You did not deserve the way she treated you. She should have left long ago rather than pretend to love you, or rather, push you away for years by being distant BECAUSE she didn't love you. You experienced a one sided relationship and marriage with a person who struggled to truly love you. You did not deserve this! I would be yelling and screaming too - maybe not hitting things, but I would be yelling.

You also are doing amazingly well by doing ALL things to help yourself through this, so I want to commend you for that.

You will mourn the death of what you had wanted with this woman - a marriage where both partners deeply love each other - but you did not get that from her. You will mourn the dream and fantasy of the kind of relationship you never had.

And one day, perhaps you will find a TRUE love - one that is reciprocated. It's out there. I am sure you're not thinking this way yet because you're mourning the loss of a hope and dream of what could have been. Just know that she was never what you truly needed, so this is good in the end.