Hi. I'm not sure if I'm in the right place. I don't have a therapist at the moment. I just very recently opened up to a few trusted people about some thoughts and beliefs I have that I've been afraid to tell anyone. I have a degree in psychology and from what I learned in college, I was afraid to give voice to any of these things.

First off, I hallucinate. It started Sophomore year of college. I get tactile hallucinations. More recently, I've started hearing sounds that no one else can hear. I do sometimes see flashes of light but I don't know if that counts as a hallucination bc my eye doctor said I have ocular migraines.

Second are the thoughts and beliefs. I believe that my abuser can watch me and track me using satellites. I kept this one in for a long time but finally opened up to a friend and my husband. Both said that it is a delusion. Other thoughts/beliefs have included: I believed in college that Britney Spears needed my help and that consumed much of my waking hours. I sometimes get paranoid that other people can hear my thoughts and I clear my mind of thoughts so that they can't hear anything. Since I was around 9 I've been paranoid that life isn't real, that I'm actually in a hospital or lab somewhere and that all I see is a dream or simulation.

Processing these things scare me and I don't know if this is where I need to be or not. I know that schizophrenia involves hallucinations and delusions, but I don't want to self diagnose.