I'm having major jealousy issues with L. I know I don't know the ins and outs of her life even though she's not a blank slate therapist. However, all the good things I know are making me jealous.

Ever since I met her, my life is falling apart. I married my abuser, we lost our house and car which both were paid off, I lost my chance at having a baby, and just recently I lost all of my doctors and found out I have more health problems than I realized.

L, in the other hand, has gotten engaged, gotten married, now owns half her business, just bought a house, and soon will be starting a family. As far as I know, her life is growing so positively.

I am completely happy for her. AND I'm jealous. I'm sad for me. It's so hard on me sometimes when I compare myself to her. She's so smart and beautiful, seems to be in a good committed relationship, she is successful in her career, seems to have good people in her life, a loving family, dreams and goals, and all-around good life. I have none of those things.

I don't know what I'm looking for in this post. I do know that it's not easy to make changes to life. If I could snap my fingers and know the outcome, maybe I would make steps towards things I want. But a lot has been taken away that I can't get back: becoming an architect and becoming a mother. Those were my two big dreams. Gone. I don't have any dreams left. I have a goal to try and get healthy again and maybe bariatric surgery. But even if I accomplish that, what then? What's the point of it all if you don't have dreams?

Please don't be harsh, but I could really use some support.