I feel this type of jealousy too. I really dislike all the crap that therapists and others share about everything coming together when you are your 'authentic self', or people 'finding their tribe' when they follow the right path etc etc. I really feel a lot of it comes down to luck and privilege. Some of us don't have much of either, and we struggle through. I'm sorry you feel like your life is falling apart, I really hope you have some good luck soon and things start to look a bit better.