Hello! I'm not new to therapy. I've been in therapy on and off for the past 16 years. Due to some rapid life changes (and change in health insurance) I lost my therapist. She was "out of network." That was 2 years ago. I'm currently in the process of getting paperwork filed for medical leave from work due to physical injury. But I realized just a few hours ago that that means I'll be seeing my primary doctor as early as later today. I had promised myself that the next opportunity I had, I would talk to my doctor about my mental health.

I have many mental health concerns: C-PTSD, Major Depressive Disorder, a Dissociative Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, etc (received official diagnoses from my previous therapists). If that weren't enough, I have some more symptoms that I don't know how to classify. I self harmed for the first time in years a few days ago. I suffer from intense tactile hallucinations. I've been hearing sounds that no one else can hear. After a bad PTSD trigger, sometimes I can't move my body at all or speak for several minutes. I have beliefs that my husband has told me are delusional (I believe my abuser can watch and track me using satellites).

I have a Bachelor's degree in psychology. I know it doesn't sound good. I'm really scared to open up and tell my doctor everything. I know that she'll get the ball rolling towards helping me find a therapist. But it's terrifying to me. Some of these symptoms, I've kept secret for several years bc, having a B.S. in psychology, I know they are serious.