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Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
I don't know. Is 40 young? I don't think I can ever go back to school. My short-term memory is so messed up. It will be hard to retain new information.
Yes, H is still abusive, but not as bad as in the past. There's still financial abuse,controlling and manipulative behavior, and some emotional abuse. There's no more physical violence including throwing and punching things. And our verbal arguments rarely happen unless I do something that affects him.
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40 is young, plenty of time to do things and fulfill dreams. What you told about the marriage I presume the positives exceed the negatives, as you still stay together. I'm sorry you feel there is not much to wait and do in life, and comparing yourself to someone you find successful doesn't help either. But I do believe we can all improve our life little by little and have goals that suit our situation. The surgery and getting healthier physically seems like a good goal and I believe it helps the mood and mental side aswell. Do you work? If not, maybe a part time job or volunteering on something you like would be a start? If you already work and feel unhappy where you are at, maybe looking for a chance in work?
I'm sorry if this is not very helpful. I always try to think positively and chance the practical things I'm unhappy with, so I tend to give advice like that, to think what I would do. And yes, I understand very well what it is like when you have not been given the best hand to play the game with, but sometimes you can win with way less than perfect cards.