So I’m blaring my headphones because I’m too afraid to check if I’m still hearing things. I tried to eat and fell back to my protein shake. I’m scanning the reflection on my computer to make sure no one’s behind me. My anxiety is so high I feel like my chest is being ripped apart. I’ve tried coloring. I can’t be high every day. I don't want to make it a habit. I’m not going to SH but I feel I’m slipping and these damn bugs. I have anxiety Meds but they don’t help this. Maybe they’d help with the feeling in my chest. I have meds that will put me to sleep and I’m thinking about Spending very few hours awake between now and Tuesday when my therapist appointment is. I don’t even know how to explain it. It’s not the symptoms that bother as much as where this can lead.I don’t want to use destructive coping mechanisms or overstate the stress. I don’t want T to overreact and I don’t know if I want my pdoc brought into this. I guess I’m asking how to keep grounded in reality, not stress out T but be honest. T knows I’m hearing things/feeling things. She wanted me to talk to pdoc so I called and missed his call back, so I tried again and missed that call too. No idea if my phone’s being weird or if I block it out because I’m always “hearing” it ring lately. I’m on high alert.