Someone at the garden therapy group asked me this week what my life would be like without therapy, and I said 'good'. Because I think it would be. I think it would be better than it is now. But it would come at a cost. The cost of denying my story. Denying my truth. Denying a part of me. Basically just going back to burying it all and hoping it never comes out (which I don't actually think is possible). She said I shouldn't do that. And deep down I don't think I should do that either... But I definitely feel like giving in/giving up, because the way things are it's just too hard. She said I should consider asking for more sessions a week. She said it's not uncommon for people who have been traumatised to require more than one session per week. She suggested I think about what I could reasonably afford and ask you the questions. Which I am planning on doing. I can't afford two every week, but I reckon I could stretch to 6 a month instead of 4, if you could knock just a little off. No idea if it will help but she is an ex phychiatrist, so I'm going to guess she has some idea what she is talking about.