So this topic came up in my therapy. Well sort of in between therapy sessions. I just texted my T about it actually.

So today I am having a lot of thoughts/feelings/visions of self harm.

I *could* reach out to a couple of people. But lately when I reach out the help has been inadequate. I'm not getting whatever it is that I need (generally speaking, I'm not saying it is true of everyone I talk to). Maybe I need to be specific in what I need. But I'm not sure what I need. I'm not sure what would help. So if I am not sure, how is someone supposed to help me with this?

If I reach out and the help is inadequate then I am just going to feel worse. If, however, I reach out and it is what I need to hear, then it would be worth the risk. I just don't like these odds at the moment.

I heard somewhere that self harm lives in isolation. That when we reach out we cut off it's oxygen. But then again, there is the fear of letting go. -- Kit