My Support Forums - View Single Post - Bipolar check-in #68

*Beth* · 06:04 PM

It's good to see you here @Pinny, although I'm very sorry to hear that you're so stressed.

I've had all manner of annoyance with regard to my high school class 40th reunion. The guy who took it upon himself to plan it is an egotistical person and ended up in way over his head, refusing to listen to anyone's advice. So he freaked out and cancelled the reunion. A sad thing, because my class is high-spirited and many of us have known each other since elementary school. I've served on 2 reunion committees and both were so successful. Everyone worked together well, with the result being lovely reunions.

Now there are all sorts of bad feelings flying around. And ironically, I have never had such difficulty putting an outfit together. The dress is nicely made...but isn't quite "right." The leggings fit weirdly. The shoes were a disaster altogether and I've returned them. The earrings, black/white retro "mod" acrylic flowers, are cute and the clutch, an emerald green suede, is really pretty. So I'll use those, at least. But nothing from start to finish has come together well. In addition, I'm still not feeling physically up to par. I keep pushing myself to do what needs to be done, but really I am tired and just wish I could sleep. Or at least lie in bed and read my novel, for hours on end.

I've missed three therapy sessions; Mary finally called today to check in. Honestly, I haven't really regretted the missed sessions too much; I just feel like holing in. I wish I could hide in for a while, open the front door, and step out into a golden autumn day. Today I am hanging the most adorable hand-screen printed Halloween kitchen towel (darling black cat, pumpkins, crows, bats, a big harvest moon), and tomorrow a new tablecloth is coming, fall colors. Just maybe one of these mornings I'll awaken and there will be that slight, but honest, shift in the air that tells me autumn is within reach.