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Aug 31, 2022, 09:16 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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I'm feeling down, I guess. Here it is, September tomorrow and with the exception of 1 perfect afternoon a couple of weeks ago spent with Noah and Kim, the year has, thus far, been just too stressful and aggravating. And such a scorchingly hot summer. This one will be the kind of summer that stays very hot until November, with the only thing that cools the day down is an earlier nightfall.
What stands out in my mind for late spring and summer is the miserable aggravation I had with my therapist being out for 3 months and everything that went on with that. Isn't therapy supposed to be helpful...it shouldn't be an ugly mark on the year.
I have a therapy appointment tomorrow, I've missed either 3 or 4 sessions, and I don't feel any desire to go tomorrow. I was lying in bed last night and the painful months of Mary being gone and everything that happened while she was away - her single, accusing phone message to me - came right back over me. I felt the old hurt and anger and certainly no desire to see her. Yet, I recognize that I'm isolating like I haven't in a very long, long time. True, I am recuperating (hopefully) from being so sick, but it's very easy to slip from recuperating to hiding out.
I also recognize that it would be wise, I suppose, to go to the session tomorrow and tell Mary what's going on. Although, is there a purpose to doing so? Telling her this or that seldom helps anything.
I'm down to 600mg of Gabapentin. I am quite sure it's been causing stomach upset for many months. Fortunately, I haven't noticed a return of anxiety. Like so many meds, the Gabapentin seemed to work well for a little while then nothing, really.
Well, good-night from ever-so-sunny and oven-baked California.
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