It makes me sad knowing you feel so defeated, @Sunflower123. You've been an inspiration to me, knowing how you've dealt with family difficulties in the past. When the world was coming down around you, you always managed to float, or find some other diversion to escape for a while. It's natural, though, that you're hitting the wall now after all you've been dealing with the past several months. I wish you could simplify your life without being made to feel guilty. You've been asked to bear more BS than many people could have dealt with. I hope you can see your way free to find some freedom and happiness.