The day has constantly shifting emotions. Emptiness, cravings, anger, anger, anger, cravings, anxiety, shame, paranoia, jubilation, anger, anger, anger, empty, numb, anger, fear, paranoia, cravings, elation, etc. From midnight to midnight, getting a break for 1-3 hours at a time since I've started free-sleeping. Tried doing something more detailed and linear/chronological, but it felt too long and I couldn't keep up.

Lately it feels like demons steal my thoughts and sell them to the Devil who intensifies the negativity and puts them back in my head. Throughout the day I hear his voice saying stuff he said while I thought I was finally receiving attention I desperately wanted, but was being traumatized in the process. Constant thoughts about it. Also the robot trying to protect me by telling me what to do, like lock doors and windows and use before I really hurt myself.

Dressing well, but then realizing I may attract attention and progressively dressing down every ten minutes until I'm in a flannel or T-shirt and either sweats or PJ pants.

But also lots of cuddling with Bean and rubbing his belly and letting him knead me. He is better than any med I've ever taken and I wish he didn't feel the need to patrol the region all day