Have you tried to find a therapist that is experienced with the kind of challenges you have? It sounds like you don’t really get to experience being your authentic self. Maybe you are not cut out for a regular heterosexual relationship. Maybe you would be a happier person being single. Bruce Jenner finally admitted he was unhappy and set out to be his authentic self and he has said he has been much happier. He tried the normal relationship route and he just was not happy.

You are living in a time where there is more discussion and acceptance so you can set towards a path to finally being what makes you happiest.