I never met men who want relationships or marriage, except for my two exes. I don't know why. I think it might be my "vibe" is just wrong. I may think I value myself because I exercise, and take care of myself, and have many hobbies and creativities and nice job, but that still might not be a case. I think when a man meets a woman can take a lot of crap from him, he stops valuing her as a person. Maybe that's it. Not even a "sex vibe" just "I don't appreciate myself vibe". Even though they might not get sex from me, which makes them even more angry towards me, they can see my boundaries and my requirements for equal and quality relationship are not right. I can take a lot of crap and I am too eager and they lose all the respect. It doesn't have anything to do with sex, it's the thing they see there is a woman who appears to like and respect herself at first glance, but they, when they get to know me a little, they realize it's just on surface and I have deep insecurities which show, a lot.
But why are people so nasty that they treat me horrible because I am insecure and have abandonment issues? Why can't they be just nice to me? It's like they want a revenge because on the first sight I appeared as someone completely different and they feel they need to "punish" me because I am not? Or I really attract somehow horrible people just because my insecurities and lack of assertiveness show up immediately?
it may be all of that.
I had pretty normal parents, I don't think they were emotionally unavailable, but I was bullied in middle school a lot, and called "stupid", "ugly", "nerd", etc so that might be the root of problem.