I’ve been struggling to explain some thoughts I have to my T, I wonder if you guys can help me.
I feel that with my last T, when we had a rupture, the T generally placed all the blame for the rupture within me. This felt unjust, but also, I think that over time I internalized some sense that I was ‘damaged’ and ‘faulty’. I fear that my new T is also doing that.

For me a rupture means that my early trauma feelings got triggered (which is really painful when it happens, I’ve seen several T’s and it happened at some point with all of them).

It makes total sense to me that when we have a rupture, both of our ‘selves’ played a part in it. I hope that the therapist is aiming that these feelings don’t get painfully triggered, and my ideal T would say something like: ‘I failed in my aim to keep you safe in this relationship in that moment, (and maybe say sorry).

Does this make sense to others? Any thoughts?