I was married to my middle school love for almost 14 years.

Quick Breakdown
We didn't stay together from then, we got together, broke up, got back together in high school, and after about a year or so had our daughter. (Yes we were young) Broke up again about 9 months after she was born. She dated someone directly after. A few years later had a child and got married. (I think they were seeing one another before she and I parted the last time because they got together within days of us breaking up)

They divorced not so long after. She was single for almost 3 years. She then moved to Nevada with our daughter. Our environment was pure hell and poverty-driven so I gave her my blessing to move. About a year later I came to visit and we rekindled. 1 year after that I moved from Rhode Island to Nevada. Leaving all I knew behind to start my life anew there with her. A year later we got married and after that had a son. We have been together for almost 14 years after.

End Breakdown

I'm leaving a lot out but that's the gist of it all.

After a few years, things started to change... Or, my eyes have opened a little. She was aiming to be a midwife and needed all the help she can get to get there. I moved down there for her and our daughter and stepson. So my goal was to help her get there. I was Mr. Mom for years while she pursued her dream. Working 3rd shift, going to school, and leaving for conferences while I held down the home and kids. About 6 years in it started to become apparent that I was being put on the back burner. Everything came before our love and it started to take a toll. She would come home and ignore me and go straight for the kids or in our room to be alone. She would jump to their defense as soon as she got home if I was scolding them for something they did.

I didn't feel wanted, loved, appreciated, etc. So we were always arguing. We then started to go to therapy, but that didn't work we want 4 times within our marriage, and 3 of those times she walked out because the seat was getting too hot for her. She never liked to hear what she did wrong. One of those times I ended it because the person was only able to see us once every other month or so.

Through the years she started emotionally abusing me and it was getting worse and worse:

"You're a stupid, retarded, worthless piece of ****"
"If our marriage fails, it's your fault"
"I'm sorry you're upset"
"That thought is stupid. No rational person would think that."
"I drove drunk and it's your fault." (She was home.)
"I will never trust you."
"Every time you complain about something I do, it dries me up down there"
"The only reason why I'm with you is just that I love you and I wish I didn't"

I can go on.

I can honestly say I never went that route. I was always someone who wanted to talk things out, resolve them and leave the past in the past. It was hard because she believe she did nothing wrong a lot of the time. I only remember her saying sorry 5 times in our marriage.

Anyway, our last big argument was for nothing. She accused me of cheating and had no proof. (Because I wasn't) She went through my phone and found nothing, no random call records or texts. She even checked our bill to confirm. Nothing. She then started calling women's contacts from my phone. FB messaging some of them telling them to leave me alone when there was nothing there. She even went as far as calling a female friend of ours who lives 3k miles away at 12:30 am their time. Then messaged her husband on FB and another family member shortly after.

She then left for a week and didn't let me know where she was but the kids knew and I was ok with that. I called the marriage off. I was done, all I wanted to do was preserve what was left. We filed for divorce, and she changed her last name back (Good, I have an issue with women taking on the man's last name. They lose their identity.) and got it all done in two weeks! I let her stay in the house for our 12-year-olds sake and now I'm venturing into a new life in a foreign land on my own.

She is looking for me to do all these favors for her when it comes to our 12-year son who I have about 40% of the time normally. I just found out from my oldest son that she is already dating someone. and telling him and our daughter about it. (I should have ****ing known that history would repeat itself.)

I'm frustrated because not only did I move out here for her, but I put my life on hold for 14-15 years while she pursued her dreams that I helped make happen. I'm not saying I am a saint because I am not. Far from it but I own my shyt when I screw up and come back to them to fix them. She did/does not. She got away damn near scott-free.

Now I'm here with all these negative connections about myself while she is out having a great time with the life I helped her build. I didn't deserve this.

I need to get back out there and be an active part of the world again but I don't know how because all I knew and created was left back east and I don't want to move back there because of trauma really.