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Old Sep 04, 2022, 03:07 PM
Biba_yu Biba_yu is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: Serbia
Posts: 134
Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope View Post
I was bullied when I was young too and dealt with insecurity issues for years as an adult. The thing is, as adults, and no matter how horribly we may have been treated, it’s our responsibility to regain the lost confidence, reclaim our self worth and to learn self love. That’s the only way people will truly respect you in the end - is if you gain and show love for yourself to not take any crap from anyone - including men.

Unfortunately, deep and obvious insecurities are a huge turn off to most people. No one wants to have a cling on, or to have to constantly reassure someone or to constantly communicate that the person is lovable. It’s exhausting for other people and that’s why people generally turn away from an obviously insecure person.

I did not witness your interactions or anything about you with these men. But yes people can pick up on this and will turn away. It’s the sad and harsh truth.

For yourself, it’s important and vital to reclaim your self worth. You have SO MUCH going for you, and I’m sure you’re a very lovely person. Own it and learn to love yourself for all the beautiful things you really are. Once you do that, no one can truly hurt you. You know your own worth and those who are unworthy matter far less.
It wasn't just bullying, it was so much more. I had so many female friends leaving me without explanation, and even my sister always preferred other children and later other people than me. I don't know if I am a good person, I guess I am average, not evil, not a saint. And, here when I think about it, the low self esteem started with maybe my sister and female friends, girlfriends, not really with men. Maybe they don't even see me as "sex thing" as I thought, I mean, they see most women like that, so why not me also? But the problem could be as you wrote insecurities they don't feel right away but pick up soon enough to be turned off by me.
I don't know at this age if I can really change that. I don't really have bad opinion on myself, but it could be that I am so desperate for a friend, that it reeks to high heaven. And since female friends all abandoned me, I seek that in relationships with men, and of course, that can not end well.
It feels to me I am getting to revelations here. At least something.
Hugs from:
Anonymous32448
Thanks for this!
downandlonely, Have Hope