Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Owl 2
There was someone who used to post on here who seemed to have a brilliant T, her T spoke of failing the client, that’s what gave me the idea that a T might take that approach.
About the question of whether my T ‘failed to keep me safe’. What you wrote is thought provoking. However I’m conscious that therapy can be re-traumatizing, and that if the trauma feelings are repeatedly triggered, that isn't going to be helpful, and that it’s possible that in that moment that triggered me, I wasn’t safe from emotional harm.
|
I think it's wonderful that the other poster's T was willing to look at it this way. I also think most Ts, if told they are "failing" the client, will get defensive and possibly even consider termination, since it's unethical to keep working with a client they are not helping. I know there's a big difference between "failing me in this particular instance" and "failing me overall," but I could see Ts conflating the two. I think many Ts have their egos/identities tied up being a "helper" and don't deal well with the thought that they might actually have hurt someone.
I think the same is true of "emotional harm." Since these re-enactments are co-created, it seems like something the two of you failed to do, or perhaps just something that happened (perhaps not a failure on anyone's part). You could argue that as the T, they carry a greater responsibility than the client does, and that's fair. But, if the therapy is causing emotional harm, I could again see a T going the termination route. In my own experience, I haven't had much luck getting Ts to accept more responsibility than they feel is theirs (I'm not saying that's right, just what I've experienced.)
I will also say that in my case, my fixation on my T and wanting him to accept responsibility and then fix it was both unrealistic and a way to avoid doing the real work of looking at the past. It's like I wanted him to atone for the sins of other people, and he wasn't willing to, and it wouldn't have worked anyway even if he'd tried.
I'm not saying that's what's going on with you--just putting my experience out there for consideration (and rejection if it doesn't resonate). I just worry that by going down this route, you might get even more hurt. But also, perhaps it's empowering for you to ask for what you need and to push the issue. Perhaps this T will come around and accept more responsibility. Or perhaps this T can't help you and it's better to know that now than to keep getting stuck in these re-enactments. (I just know for me, an involuntary termination would have been the ultimate re-enactment and I'm not sure I would have recovered from it.)