Thanks Sunflower123, downandlonely and *Beth* for your support. It's so nice to be able to come on here and find a sympathetic ear, especially feeling as unwanted as I do right now. Yes I've definitely been triggered. I've noticed also that my mind is starting again to wander to anxiety provoking thoughts, like I am wondering if this or that symptom is actually some severe disease, which is a pattern I can get into when I'm not doing well mentally. I do go through periods of high anxiety that can last quite a long time in general, but when my bipolar depression is better then anxiety is also much better in general. It's like the two symptoms march to the same drummer and manifest in persistent rumination.

I don't want this to start a downward spiral. I've been doing quite well for a number of months, not having these long periods of negative rumination.

If anyone has any suggestions for thoughts, activities or techniques to restore well being after being triggered with bipolar, I'm open to trying new things.

I was looking forward to seeing him and doing some fun stuff together, plus it would have been reassuring to see him after hearing all that he had been through, so there is also that feeling of disappointment. We were always platonic friends. so it isn't anything related to a romantic involvement. I don't know why he would reach out after all these years only to block me again with no explanation after a few months.