You have my blessings to hijack my thread, it is not a problem. I hope you will receive what you wish from your father, though I would caution against feeling devestated if you do not. That being said, time is slowly running out for my father too and I, too, move ever so slightly closer to him as death approaches. There are only so many chances we get with our parents. When we are young, they seem infinite, but of course they are not. Be sure you have eyes and ears here to lend comfort and to listen, no matter what.

I am turned on MOSTLY by power struggle. Strong emotions can do that, too, but I avoid those, espacially the good ones. This is not a great way to live life, of course, and my T and me will work on this when we get there, I am sure. Perhaps we already are working on it, for already I feel myself ever so slightly more open to being vulnerable than I did a year ago.