Hi @NealRK welcome to the forums. You have done some important unpacking with your opening post. It sounds like you need help sorting through how to deal with all the emotions you are experiencing. You are now in your 50’s and your life is not where you thought it would be. Well, that saying “mid life crisis” is something that hits all of us. A lot of the things you have shared are normal in terms of the gradual change with intimacy and how there is less sex in your marriage. Yeah, it sucks as this is part of normal aging as a couple gets past the reproductive years where the intimacy and sex is driven by horomones. Both the man and woman are affected by this change. There is also an emotional shift and even feeling lost and depressed, so it definitely has an affect on one’s mental health. So this is not just a cliche, it’s a real challenge that everyone experiences. A lot of divorces take place during this period. It’s not unusual for a man to have an affair with a younger woman or divorce and look for that in hopes that will ease the discomfort he is experiencing at this age.

Yes, you worked and spent time on making a nice home and you did make accomplishments. Yet, time passed by and you are suddenly not where you imagined you would be. Well, this happens to most people. This change brings on a different way of looking at things. It’s “normal” and it’s part of our actual physical and hormonal change. We FEEL different at this age, it’s not just you being a failure.

I did not want to tell you what to do as I hear you in how that doesn’t help. Yet I feel you could benefit from understanding the metabolic changes you are experiencing that are contributing to your overall emotional confusion that is very real. You are not a failure as a human being. ❤️