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Originally Posted by Have Hope
I have been desperate for companions before myself. It has typically pushed people away from me because they can smell the desperation. I think it’s a matter of becoming comfortable being on your own, in your own company and enjoying your own company. It’s also a matter of being able to be self reliant and self soothing on one’s own. It’s ok to want companions but it’s difficult for others when we come across as needy. So learning to be less needy, enjoy your own company and being comfortable in your own skin is important. I’m saying “you” not meaning YOU but more the collective us.
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But I am alone a lot, and I am comfortable being alone, even too much. I live alone, with a cat, and work from home so basically, I am alone 24h a day, maybe 5 or 6 days a week. It's the fact that I do need someone to be there occasionally but I can't have that special person that bugs me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by downandlonely
I have had the same issue with female friends leaving with no explanation. I have only recently realized that it's because I am on the autism spectrum. It seems like neurotypical women have a secret unspoken language that I was never taught and don't pick up on. So they just think I'm rude. I've also found that few women like to be honest about the reason they don't want to spend time with me. They prefer to be fake nice.
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I feel the same way! It's like not only they have a secret unspoken language, but they also have some secret rules of behavior and everything about gestures, the way they talk and behave I have no idea about. When I am with female friend or friends I feel like an intruder, elephant in a glass shop, I don't know how to explain that, but yes, like they have some unspoken rules and I just don't fit in. They also didn't tell me why they just left me. If I did or said something wrong it was unintentional.
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Originally Posted by Open Eyes
You mentioned you are an artist. What kind of art?
It sounds like it’s shallow people that are looking for someone that can feed their ego that lack interest in you. This isn’t your fault.
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I paint and draw illustrations, paintings, comics (I did comics before, not lately), and I am a writer (not famous, published, but never earned a nickel on my writing).
It may be I attract people who want to feed their ego on me. The man I mentioned who arranged dates an hour before his gym, and texted me barely anytime, I just asked him to return him his gadget and he totally seems to be thinking I am still interested in him. And STILL suggested we meet before his gym. I mean... how do I find these people?
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Originally Posted by AzulOscuro
Yes, it never happens because just the right person to love you, it’s yourself.
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I have been with myself for 50 year, I would really want to have a friend, at least one. I am tired of being alone forever.