This is so weird, but I'm seeing it from the therapist's perspective for the first time. I have so few clients right now, that I have thought I could be available pretty much round the clock. I don't sleep at normal times anyway. I do get calls from staff late at night about client crises, and I try to talk them through it.

Clients don't have my phone numbers though. They would have to go through someone else to call me. A client has been kind-of hinting about wanting my phone number. Something inside me told me that giving it to her would be poor boundaries, and I have to model good boundaries for her. I gave her a card with the office number on it, that has the typical recording during off hours about using emergency services if it is an emergency. I would eventually get a message and get back to her if she left a message at that number.

She told me in a session that she had a really bad weekend and wanted to kill herself and would have called me if she had my number. I went over options for getting help when she needs it with her. But it has made me think about what would happen if she did have my number. I really think that she would get into the habit of calling me whenever. If she called me at the time that she wanted to, she might have called at about the time that I was in therapy, or maybe just getting out of my session. I would not be able to switch roles efficiently enough to be there for her right at that time. I can be there for her during her hour, but pushing the boundaries would seriously interfere with my ability to be what she needs me to be in the future. I have a new appreciation for these kinds of boundaries.

I am also starting to see why it would be a problem to have a friendship outside of the therapeutic relationship. Even with a client that I could easily enjoy having as a friend, now that I know the deep and dark things about her, and my role is to help her with those things, to try to make it a two-way relationship even after terminating would be very awkward. It's too bad, because in other circumstances, we could be friends. I like her. Now I have to re-think my wish for my therapist to be a friend. I need her as a therapist, and it's too bad, because I like her too. I wish I could hang out with her after hours, but it would be so awkward. For both of us.