Alice Kate,

I was just writing an email to my OB-GYN about vaginal irritation caused by my new psych drugs, irritation following partner sex and even solo sex, and I crossed out masturbation and replaced it with solo sex in my draft, and sent it off. Somehow there is still stigma and negativity associated with masturbation, even though it does not deserve it. I say "masturbation" when I talk to my psychiatrist/therapist, as I know him very, very well, but I only see the OB-GYN yearly so I was a little embarrassed writing to her.

I do not see the term "solo sex" in print often, but I think it is wonderful and it also means that there is sex solo and sex with partners and neither one is better than the other.

And then I thought of you and your thread. If you change the language (you know, sometimes language matters, although I do not tend to overgeneralize) to "when I engage in solo sex, I often explore power struggle fantasies as they currently turn me on a lot", does it make it any less problematic for you?