Quote:
Originally Posted by moodyblue83
Have hope......sounds like you don't have much of it in your marriage right now. It
amazes me how quickly we are ready to head out the door I'll just say this. What
if you took all the emotion out of what's been going on over the past however long.
What you have left is just the logic , reality , and facts. If you just analyze all of this
can you now better understand why what has been said has been said ?? Do you think
he/ she really means what is being said in the heat of the moment ? Think about it.......
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Dearest @
moodyblue83, you may not have the backstory of my marriage at hand when you're thinking of what to say in response.
My husband was severely emotionally and verbally abusive towards me in the first 2.5 years of marriage. Then he was unfaithful. I kicked him out and we separated for 6 months. We ALMOST divorced - the paperwork was being drawn up. Then, he promised me he would attend individual therapy and couples therapy and acknowledged his anger issues. He also promised me he would never hurt me ever again. We got back together over a year ago, and he moved back in.
And now, present day, I still see several abusive behaviors present - mainly when we disagree and begin to argue,. He deflects responsibility, he projects all his issues onto me, he gaslights me and he demeans and insults me.
I am not quick to rush out the door - in fact, I have given him MANY chances - and probably FAR TOO MANY CHANCES to make things right with me at this point.
I am at the end of my rope right now - and yes, one more big fight and one more insult, and I am DONE. There comes a point where you have to draw the line and say ENOUGH is ENOUGH, I DO NOT DESERVE THIS NOR DO I WANT THIS.
And sure, he may not truly mean the cruel things he says in the heat of the moment - but when you throw enough crap at the barn door, it sticks.
After each fight, it takes me at least a week or more to recover from his hurtful and insulting comments. I am NOT OK WITH THIS NOR SHOULD I BE.