Quote:
Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel
Just because someone owns their part of a rupture and even apologizes and works to prevent it in the future, doesn't mean the original hurt isn't still there. And that is okay. Part of having a healthy relationship is how we navigate the hurts. You can bring up past hurts. It's good to do so. Not to blame, not to make the other person feel bad, but to find more understanding and acceptance, maybe validation? It's okay to want reassurances. It's okay to have your feelings. And it's okay to need more processing.
|
Thanks for saying this.
I too am not over a rupture I had with my t. I realize it’s a rupture partly because of this thread. I always thought a rupture was a disconnection in the relationship because of something wrong that someone did to the other, where one could say they did x,y and the other could take accountability for z. As if they always need to have done something wrong.
My t triggers me with actions that are considered right and normal but they hurt me tremendously to the point of me thinking of running away. I’m thinking of cancelling this week because I can’t get over this, but what he did is right, normal under any circumstance. I blame myself for the pain and rupture and can’t fix it within myself. It’s my fault, I’m wrong and can’t stop hurting.
To know that maybe it’s ok to still talk about as challenging and degrading as it feels is interesting. It simply feels like I shouldn’t get offended by it. Don’t know my way forward but thanks for this.